Stockley Family Christmas Letter, 2009 Edition

Nice to hear about your Grandkids. Please don’t take it wrong but ours really are cuter and smarter.
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Yours did what? They did? Well, Mr. Laird’s 2nd grade football team won the West Monroe Tackle Football Super Bowl. Top that. And Emma Lou danced the Turkey Tango at her dance class and they said it was the best they’d EVER seen. Don’t feel bad.
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You got a new grandbaby? We got one, too. Cutest one on Facebook. If you don’t think so we’ll put a picture of yours up next to Edie Hope’s (Edith Hope Christlieb, born March 29) and we’ll take a poll. She’ll spank your little possum like a redheaded stepchild.
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Your kids? Yea, yea, yea. Well Josh is on radio, in the paper, getting papers published and is probably the greatest Poli-Sci professor ever at ULM. However, since opposing the Louisiana Baptist Minister’s encyclical suggesting that President Obama be called “Boy” rather than “Mr. President”, he’s been hated by every Rush Hannibeck disciple in Redneck Town. And April finally got him to put up a Christmas Tree and has got them all settled in to their fabulous new house with white pillars, two back doors and their own private forest preserve in the back yard. Oh, yea. We’ll I’ll bet our kids got more pillars than your kids.
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Rachel and Dave are happy in their extremely luxurious condo, what with Dave being such a famous lawyer and semi-professional poker player and with Rachel being the best 3rd grade teacher and momma ever. Dave will probably be out in Vegas again kicking butt on Doyle Brunson, Scottie Nguyen and Phil Ivey. He’s also taught Edie to never bet a medium strength hand on the river.
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And, oh, yea, about your trip to Australia, Lichtenstein and hiking the entire length of the Great Wall of China, well, WE went to the Quad Cities to see Lynn’s Mom and Joe and to Chicago to tear up Ashkenaz’ Kosher Deli and Flip’s Italian Beef. Steve committed gluttony in two Maid Rites, Whitey’s, Lagomarcino’s and three Vienna Red Hot joints. Oh, yea, we saw Rachel, Dave and Edie Hope.
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Besides that, Steve went to Wheaton for his 40th High School Reunion. Every young lady fit into her senior prom dress, sported their high school hair tones untouched by Miss Clairol and escorted a young man in his senior athletic form. Steve of course fit right in. They voted on which literary figure classmates had grown to be most like. Steve was unanimously voted to be most like Moby Dick.
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Our 37th Fall Pilgrimage to Eureka Springs found Two Dumb Dames still making the same great fudge and Steve and friend Lonnie still puffing fragrant billows of Cuban incense in the park with the fortune tellers, jewelry peddlers and blue-haired ladies in matching craft fair sweatshirts.
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We’re both still accruing seniority with Tulsa Public Schools, having more fun than if we had paying jobs. Steve is 6th grade dean and has worked himself up to the office closest to the parking lot door. Lynn’s a high school counselor and finally enjoys working for a principal with principles. Steve’s principal has principles, she just wishes her 6th grade dean did also. In addition to all that we had the thrilling events of one birthday each and a 37th Anniversary. Our excitement just doesn’t end.
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So comparing letters, I think we come away with the prize even without going into details such as cleaning the garage and pulling weeds in the back yard. Steve wears his literary honor proudly and is happy to report that the trainer yells out, ‘Thar she blows when Steve jumps into the pool. Lynn gets her exercise planting potatoes on her farm in Farmville and occasionally visiting the gym. She's discovered that visiting is much more fun than working out.
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So we’d love to visit more but there are more Christmas letters to burn ah, er, read, potatoes to plant and garages to clean.
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From our Uncle Mott to you, “Just remember who wins the Christmas Rat Race - the rat. So take a few quiet minutes to see if you can hear a mother in a stable singing quietly to her newborn baby. It might just bring back that feeling that got crushed in the line at the check-out counter. Then have a Blessed Christmas.”
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Merry Christmas 2009
From Wee'uns to You'uns