Cheerleading...Yea, Right!

Cheer "Leading" ?

Back in the day when I dressed in my slacks and button-down shirt and attended the football game with Horace Mann and Red Grange, there were uniformed classmates who stood on the sidelines with megaphones to lead the fans in organized cheers. They pepped us up for the action on the field, they knew the score of the game, what cheer to call and it correlated with the progress of the contest.

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Push 'em back, Push 'em back. Waaaaaaaaaaaay back. (We were on defense.)

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Through that line. Through that line. (We were on offense.)

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Hi-dee, hi-dee, hi-dee hi. Ho-dee, ho-dee, ho-dee ho. We're the gang from Wheaton. And we're ready to go. Now Glenbard is rough and Glenbard is tough. They can beat anybody, but they can't beat us. (Before the game has started.)

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Lean to the left. (And we would)

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Now cheerleading has as much to do with leading cheers as an "Escourt Service" does with escourting. Cheerleading in a multi-gabillion dollar industry aimed at who can perform the wildest gymnastics possible while showing as much of little girl's breasts and crotch as possible. Cheerleaders have no idea what the score (of the game) is, they throw pom-poms around like the Paris Follies Bergere and put on a perfomance to music that has no more to do with the athletic contest than virgin has to do with Virgin Islands. High school cheerleaders are racking up injuries equal to the football players and their folks are spending enough money to pull third world countries out of our current recession. It's not their fault, it's what the market wants.

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I'm not advocating that we change what the current cheerleaders do. Ain't no one this side of the Pearly Gates gonna do that. I'm not sure anyone the OTHER side of the Pearly Gates can do that. But I do suggest we change the lable to more aptly fit the activity. Let's just call them the rich-assed little titty-boom gymnastic exhibitionists and then start a new thing where uniformed and covered students lead the spectators in cheers to pep up the fans in the stands and the team on the field.