Stockley Family Christmas Letter, 2009 Edition

Nice to hear about your Grandkids. Please don’t take it wrong but ours really are cuter and smarter.
*
Yours did what? They did? Well, Mr. Laird’s 2nd grade football team won the West Monroe Tackle Football Super Bowl. Top that. And Emma Lou danced the Turkey Tango at her dance class and they said it was the best they’d EVER seen. Don’t feel bad.
*
You got a new grandbaby? We got one, too. Cutest one on Facebook. If you don’t think so we’ll put a picture of yours up next to Edie Hope’s (Edith Hope Christlieb, born March 29) and we’ll take a poll. She’ll spank your little possum like a redheaded stepchild.
*
Your kids? Yea, yea, yea. Well Josh is on radio, in the paper, getting papers published and is probably the greatest Poli-Sci professor ever at ULM. However, since opposing the Louisiana Baptist Minister’s encyclical suggesting that President Obama be called “Boy” rather than “Mr. President”, he’s been hated by every Rush Hannibeck disciple in Redneck Town. And April finally got him to put up a Christmas Tree and has got them all settled in to their fabulous new house with white pillars, two back doors and their own private forest preserve in the back yard. Oh, yea. We’ll I’ll bet our kids got more pillars than your kids.
*
Rachel and Dave are happy in their extremely luxurious condo, what with Dave being such a famous lawyer and semi-professional poker player and with Rachel being the best 3rd grade teacher and momma ever. Dave will probably be out in Vegas again kicking butt on Doyle Brunson, Scottie Nguyen and Phil Ivey. He’s also taught Edie to never bet a medium strength hand on the river.
*
And, oh, yea, about your trip to Australia, Lichtenstein and hiking the entire length of the Great Wall of China, well, WE went to the Quad Cities to see Lynn’s Mom and Joe and to Chicago to tear up Ashkenaz’ Kosher Deli and Flip’s Italian Beef. Steve committed gluttony in two Maid Rites, Whitey’s, Lagomarcino’s and three Vienna Red Hot joints. Oh, yea, we saw Rachel, Dave and Edie Hope.
*
Besides that, Steve went to Wheaton for his 40th High School Reunion. Every young lady fit into her senior prom dress, sported their high school hair tones untouched by Miss Clairol and escorted a young man in his senior athletic form. Steve of course fit right in. They voted on which literary figure classmates had grown to be most like. Steve was unanimously voted to be most like Moby Dick.
*
Our 37th Fall Pilgrimage to Eureka Springs found Two Dumb Dames still making the same great fudge and Steve and friend Lonnie still puffing fragrant billows of Cuban incense in the park with the fortune tellers, jewelry peddlers and blue-haired ladies in matching craft fair sweatshirts.
*
We’re both still accruing seniority with Tulsa Public Schools, having more fun than if we had paying jobs. Steve is 6th grade dean and has worked himself up to the office closest to the parking lot door. Lynn’s a high school counselor and finally enjoys working for a principal with principles. Steve’s principal has principles, she just wishes her 6th grade dean did also. In addition to all that we had the thrilling events of one birthday each and a 37th Anniversary. Our excitement just doesn’t end.
*
So comparing letters, I think we come away with the prize even without going into details such as cleaning the garage and pulling weeds in the back yard. Steve wears his literary honor proudly and is happy to report that the trainer yells out, ‘Thar she blows when Steve jumps into the pool. Lynn gets her exercise planting potatoes on her farm in Farmville and occasionally visiting the gym. She's discovered that visiting is much more fun than working out.
*
So we’d love to visit more but there are more Christmas letters to burn ah, er, read, potatoes to plant and garages to clean.
*
From our Uncle Mott to you, “Just remember who wins the Christmas Rat Race - the rat. So take a few quiet minutes to see if you can hear a mother in a stable singing quietly to her newborn baby. It might just bring back that feeling that got crushed in the line at the check-out counter. Then have a Blessed Christmas.”
*
Merry Christmas 2009
From Wee'uns to You'uns

Mr. Carter, Just One More Song

I’ll never forget the first time I heard him sing the notes of praise that gently and joyfully filled the hallway. I rounded the corner to discover the source of my concert coming from a slightly rotund man directing two special needs students to the bathroom. I stood and stared as the door closed. Still the words “Oh my Jesus...” wafted down the hall.
*
I had met Reggie Carter: Para-professional, servant of Jesus, companion, co-worker, teacher of special needs children, mentor to us all. Someone who I would call my friend. Every day, Mr. Carter and Larry would pick up the recycle paper. Larry has downs syndrome, is a full fledged character and loved nothing more than escaping Mr. Carter’s watchful eye and running to momentary freedom down the hall. Larry laughing in escape. Mr. Carter laughing in pursuit. Captured and returned, Larry and Mr. Carter singing, pushing a cart of recycle paper. Mr. Carter succeeded in potty-training Larry, and never lost his song.
*
Mornings, I’d see Mr. Carter sitting at a table with four students, helping one to eat, encouraging another to feed himself, singing a praise song in response to the temper tantrum of a third. Carrying trash for those who could not. Encouraging those who could not.
*
At lunch Mr. Carter walked backwards with outstretched hands to make sure Donnie did not spill his plate. Donnie is autistic. Mr. Carter was filling the cafeteria with a spontaneous song celebrating Donnie’s success in carrying his plate. And did they celebrate. Donnie carried his plate all the way from the lunch line to his seat. We were treated to a song and a dance! Hurrah! The next day, Donnie took two steps and the plate fell from his trembling hands to the floor. Mr. Carter cleaned it up with a smile and started a new song of encouragement all over. From the beginning. Because in another week or two weeks or month, Donnie would again carry his plate all by himself all the way to his table. And Mr. Carter would then sing and clap and dance and celebrate Donnie’s new success.
*
Some days I’d arrive at school to see Mr. Carter sitting on the steps, awaiting the bus, reading his Bible. I was greeted to another day with a smile, a laugh and maybe the last line of an old joke we had shared a hundred times before.
*
The writer of the Book of James said, you tell me of you faith by your words, I will show you my faith by my deeds. Had James the brother of our Lord met Mr. Carter, our Bibles might well have read, Mr. Religious stuffed shirt, you may tell me of your faith with your words, but Mr. Carter will show you real faith by his deeds.
*
He saw no color. He helped others see no color. Ready to use, refusing to abuse working relationships he made everyone seem like a special friend, and I think we were. He’d sing a song, say a prayer and then look at a coworker with a twinkle in his eye and they’d say together, “Super Twin Power Activate!”, no child, no tantrum, no crisis could withstand this united assault of super-power twin love. If Satan was autistic, Reggie Carter would have stormed the gates of Hell with a water pistol, firmly believing he could have brought him God’s love, a song and the expectation that Old Scratch would indeed clean up his act before the bus came.
*
Never a discouraging word, never a negative comment, the answer was always the same; “I’m just too blessed to be stressed.” And always a song.
*
If there is a tragedy in Mr. Carter’s life it is that the upper and middle management powers at the District Big House had time to make contradictory policy, in-effective rules and pointless programs, but they never had time to get to know God’s Ambassador in their own department. Had these anointed leaders watched this precious servant, they would have been reborn as true leaders. It never happened.
*
I could go on with a hundred more stories in the classroom and on the playground. A hundred more songs: playing in the gym and getting on the bus. But let’s just say Reggie Carter lived a life of ministry in every setting, in every circumstance and he always did it armed with a smile and a song. Suffice it to say, Mr. Reggie Carter preached as eloquent a sermon while pushing a recycle cart as the best paid minister has ever preached from the highest pulpit in a downtown church.
*
As soon as I am done writing these words I will return to the same school, the same halls. There will be Donnie. There will be Larry. There will be a cart of recycle paper. There will be students eating in the cafeteria. But there will not be a song or Mr. Carter.
*
I am glad Reggie Carter has gone to sing in the halls of Heaven. But I am sad that we have lost Para professional, servant of Jesus, companion, co-worker, teacher of special needs children, mentor to us all. I am sad I have lost my friend. I am sad, Mr. Carter, that I can’t hear you sing just one more song.

Are Right-Wing Christians Christian or Just Right-Wing?

One: The United States has enough money to blow Iraqis and Afghanistanis to Hell in little pieces. Two: The Rush Hannibekis say we don’t have the same amount of money to heal the poor and needy in the United States. Three: Why do we have the money to kill but do not have the money to heal?
*
One: The majority of right-wing conservatives claim to be Christians. Two: Jesus (the guy who held the original copyright on Christianity) healed multitudes and killed not a single Roman, Samaritan or Canaanite. Three: Upon what moral grounds does the majority of right-wing Christians support spending for war and oppose equal spending for healthcare?
*
One: Most Christians claim the entire Bible is the word of God. Two: From the prophets to Jesus Christ, God condemns the religious and self-righteous who refused help to the poor and needy. Three: Upon what moral or religious grounds does the religious right-wing damn health care?
*
One: Christians took the lead in the fight for free, government paid public education for all. Two: Although late in coming, Christians finally took the lead in the governmental eradication of slavery. Three: Upon what moral or religious grounds are right-wing Christians sitting on their wallet-protecting hands while opposing government healthcare for the poor and needy?
*
Are Right-Wing Christians Christian or Just Right-Wing?

Obama-Haters. Your Slip is Showing!

Rush Hannibecks and their hate-mongering ilk dropped all pretense of civility, principle and patriotic loyalty when the 2012 Olympics was awarded to Rio de Janeiro. Right-Wing think tanks erupted into applause. Rush Limbaugh jumped up and down in giddy joy as he chortled “The Ego Has Landed!”
*
These hypocritical vipers, who claim their opposition to Obama isn’t personal, but based on “Principle” were silent to the last one when George Bush voiced his support for Chicago’s Olympic bid.
*
Said Bush, “They say that the Olympics will come to Chicago if we are fortunate enough to be selected. It’s coming to America. I can’t think of a better city to represent the United States than Chicago. This country supports your bid strongly."
*
The Rush Hannibecks, who wrap themselves in the flag and self inflated patriotic pomposity, rejoice gleefully when the United States loses the Olympic bid. American looses and they give standing ovations. For this they have no defense. What kind of twisted gutter-dwellers claim patriotism, while laughing, applauding and cheering when the country their lips claim – loses? The people who justify themselves by listening to their broadcasts are little better.
*
They hid behind their lies, but their true nature burst out in such brilliant clarity, they can hide their true intent no longer.

Where Have You Gone Henry Bellmon? Our State Turns Its Lonely Eyes to You.

I loved the times, when as a child, the family would sit in my grandparents’ living room. It was customarily after a holiday get-together. Dinner dished had been washed and put away. Grandma often passed a box of homemade candy and talk would go to “back in the day”.
*
Ancestor stories and legends from days gone by were told with relish and glowing descriptors. We knew every one by heart, but loved to hear them again: the times Grandpa and Uncle Melvin would stir up a skunk’s nest every time they didn’t want to go to school, the day Great Grandfather Jackman caught Grandpa and Uncle Melvin running around the yard in the schoolmarm’s bloomers, or the time Grandfather saw Teddy Roosevelt and got to shake the President’s hand.
*
We also heard great stories of steadfast men and women who took courageous stands for the right, whether it was popular or not. People who suffered hardship, personal loss and ridicule because they stood for the right, not the popular. As my family was keen on honesty, the stories never became exaggerated or changed. We knew they were stories to believe.
*
At he end of the evening, Grandfather or Grandmother would bring the benediction with the blessing, “Well, those were the days. We could sure use people like that today”.
*
I felt that way when I heard the sad news that former Governor and Senator, Henry Bellmon had lost a courageous fight with Parkinson’s disease. Henry Bellmon was just plain good. He was a statesman, not a politician and refused to walk in the sewer of back room politics. He was polite, forthright, honest and always tried to do what he felt was right. He refused to settle for political expedience when his morals demanded thee right decision. Shunning the hardliners he took difficult stands in voting to return the Panama Canal to Panama and pushing through monumental Public Education legislation which stands yet today as the Legislature’s historical public education high watermark.
*
Uppermost, Governor Bellmon was a man of deep spiritual faith. Refusing to wear his religion on his sleeve, his beliefs were never prostituted for political gain. Simply put, he lived his values, he didn’t pimp them for votes.
*
Naturally these traits, his moderate views, private religious values and sincere personal respect for philosophical opponents alienated him from his own party. Aborted by right-wing fanatics, he was shunned by those who had so much to learn. It sad that Democrats are in no position to cast stones across the aisle.
*
Saddest of all is that Henry Bellmon’s life takes its place among the ancestor stories of great statesmen, “Back in the day.” Mr. Bellmon, we already miss you.

Freedom Lost a Champion and Friend

Mary Travers, sexy symbol of folk music and tireless conscience of civil and human rights finally lost her heroic battle against cancer. The outspoken, harmonic champion of justice, freedom and love between our brothers and sisters died at the age of 72. Never flagging in her zeal for righteous causes, she had sung against Apartheid in Africa, the War in Vietnam, worker exploitation from coal mines to tomato fields and hatred around the globe.
*
Mary joined Peter and Paul at the dawn of the 60’s. “Blowin’ In the Wind”, “If I had a Hammer” and “Where Have All the Flowers Gone” engraved their permanent spot in the American folk tradition as early as 1962/63. Forty years later they were still on the cutting edge with “Have You Been to Jail for Justice”, “Jesus on the Wire” and “Don’t Laugh at Me.” Perhaps their best know song, “Puff the Magic Dragon” that was a classic triple entendre which told of a little boy and a dragon, innocent imagination or smoking a ‘doobie.’ (Take your pick.)
*
The group’s artistic genius was displayed by the immense variety in their musical message. Humor, folktales, moral stories, funny sing-a-longs, seasonal classics and themes of protest were all within their 20 album repertoire. Few groups have had had the ability to elicit rapt attention, anger, motivation, laughter and tears – sometimes all within a single album.
*
Mary Travers, who spoke the least of the three on stage, was still sharp with her wit, and definitely the one who took center stage in the eye of the camera and audience. (She was even the role model for Jim Henson’s blond singer in his Muppet’s Band.) Personally close to each other, PP&M’s chemistry permeated the stage, their public protests and most of all, their music.
*
I shall never forget the concert I attended in Tulsa’s Brady Theatre. Packed with hippies, used-to-be-hippies, three piece suits, moms, dads, grandparents and the curious we recalled dreams of the past and were rekindled in our commitment that that dream must never die. We stood with tear-streaked faces and raised our hands in honor as we joined in a spiritual pledge that we would remain true to “the hammer of justice, the bell of freedom and song of love between our brothers and sisters – all over this land!”
*
God bless you Mary Travers. I celebrate your life. I weep at your passing. I laugh at your smiles. I promise I will never let the dream die!

Carpenter Socialism - Not Then! Not Now!

Some years ago, a Jewish carpenter quit his job, lived off handouts and spread a socialistic concept condemning his society for turning its back on God by refusing to care for poor and needy. He quoted Jewish reformers who had also condemned THEIR societies for refusing to care for the orphan, widow, needy, and the aliens who live among them. This un-employed Jewish socialist even told people to PAY THEIR TAXES”!!!!!!!!!! If that wasn’t enough, he went so far as to tell a man who wanted to do God’s will to “sell his goods and give to the poor!!!!!” That was a 100% tax!!! Thankfully, man was a good conservative anti-socialist and he refused to follow such folly. He’d worked hard and it was time to say an emphatic, “Drop dead!” to that socialistic invasion of his private property.
*
Fortunately cooler heads prevailed and the general public outcry rose up and they pressured the government to nail that Nazi-Before-His-Time to a tree. None of that socialism! Just as past generations had ignored such ridiculousness before him, they ignored this jobless socialist.
*
Thank God there are so many again today who have not been duped by this unemployed Nazi socialist and his ideas. They don’t want the hand of the poor in their pockets taking their hard earned money. Like the crowd screamed at the dying Carpenter, if you can do what you claim, do it yourself!! We want a better life than your offering. Let the ppor bury the poor.
*
May the do-gooders who push this socialistic agenda of helping the poor, the widow, the orphan and the alien among us be as ignored today as that unemployed, free-loading, socialistic, Nazi, son of an unwed mother (Where’s His birth certificate!!) was then.

Wanted: Blubbering Hystero-Moms

Hey! Where did the Blubbo-Muthers go? You know, the ones who boo-hoo'd their globby pasty eyes all over the TV cameras, terrified that their little babes were going to be brainwashed by the President. Taking a break from the right-wing dung-slinging purveyors of irrational hate and paranoia, they blubbered on about brainwashing, indoctrination and socialistic mind-control. But now they are as gone as a “fred” in the wind and harder to locate than a rational though on Limbaugh and Hannity.
*
Well, whether they have run into the woods, crawled back under their rock or just retired to the basement of their intellectual outhouse, they’ll be back like a resurgence of the swine flu. Don’t waste breath telling them that Reagan and Bush did the same thing, they’re much too smart to be confused by the facts.
*
Little do they realize how little danger they’re in. Ya gotta have a brain to get brainwashed.

Just about the time TPS does something well, it goes through an orgiastic reflex and shoots itself in the foot. For years Jack Arnold and Bob Currington labored over a Code of Student Conduct. The Code was concise, ultimately clear and best of all, was consistent while providing individual flexibility.
*

Every year several Board members complained that the Code was not consistent enough. There were different consequences in different schools for the same offense. Well, they fixed it alright, with a typical Board solution. NO consequences!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*
The new Discipline Response Plan (DRP or better described DRIP) is a comic masterpiece that could be sold on late night cable TV as Acronyms Gone Wild. T.R.A.I.C.E Satellite, T.R.A.I.C.E. Academy, DRC they threw in everything but an IUD and STD.
*
The clear consequence categories have been replaced with a confusing mish-mash of confused contradictions, shrouded in vague generalities, wrapped in smoke and mirrors. Clear consequences have been replaced by a nauseas glut of bookish jargon called Tier I, Tier II, Tire III and Tier IV, guaranteed to bring uncountable tears to anyone who is actually IN a school and is actually WORKING WITH STUDENTS! Clear consequences have been replaced and unworkable maze and endless list of time prohibitive activities that would require an entire staff of counselors for every referred student. Clear consequences have been removed and replaced with unworkable demands that require hours of additional paperwork.
*
Specific scenario: 14 year old Johnny grabs Suzy’s breast in class. Suzy is humiliated and in tears. It is no longer a sexual offense!!!!!!!!!!!! Instead, we have a teacher conference with Johnny to inform him this is not an expected behavior or we have a team meeting to be sure Johnny understands the Life Skills or we set up a parent conference (if the parent cares to attend), or we review Steve Covey's Seven ........WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!!!!!!!!!! What idiot removed this sexual offense from the list of sexual offenses!!!!!!!! If I MY child was sexually abused at the hands of another student who had been reminded of his Life Skills the last time he sexually abused a classmate, I'd sue Tulsa Public Schools for every dollar I could get. AND I WILL RECOMMEND THE SAME TO ANY PARENT TO WHOM IT THIS HAPPENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*
Specific Incident: A principal called me to say that at a recent principal's meeting, the presenter of the ridiculous Discipline Response Plan refused to answer the question of what specific consequences should happen to two students who have a fight. This Discipline Response Plan is NO Discipline, with NO Response and has NO plan!!!!
*
Dr. Ballard said, and I believe he was sincere, that misbehavior would not be tolerated. This NO Discipline Response Plan assures the failure of Dr. Ballard's pledge to teachers. Lounge talk has it that high school principals are trying to respond with some common sense. Let’s pray, for the sake of every student, teacher and administrator that this is true and that they are successful.

A Few Thoughts from the First Dog


It’s a dog’s life was surely penned by some mongrel mutt, sniffing the butt of a registered poodle in the park or a yellow cur leaving a relic on the courthouse lawn. When you’re a Heinz 57 no one has expectations of you, cares about you or pays any attention to you. You can tear holes in the neighbors trash bag and dine on week old delicacies and when you’re done, roll contentedly in a pile left from the mutt three doors down. No one cares if your name is “Square”, “Pooter”, “Barfie” or “Dammit”.
*
But when you’re the damn First Dog with a pedigree longer than most Ivy League college Presidents and have an address of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, it’s a lousy life. I couldn’t even get a dog’s name. Any dog across the street with the name of “Bo” is named “Bo” because “Bo” is “Bo”. Period! I’m named “Bo” because of some family great uncle “Diddlie”. Well, hey, that bites! If I was a mutt, enjoying the real dog’s life they’d name me after great Uncle Barney who was the town “alkie” and name me “Moonshine” or “Boozer”.
*
I can’t even take crap without being chained to a Secret Service agent, spied on by twelve security cameras and followed by twenty two reporters. You try take a crap with an audience of millions and see if you smile about a dog’s life! When I’m done they don’t let me sniff it or roll in it. I’m lucky if I even get a chance to scratch around it.
*
Then, they send me to obedience school. Hell, I was born with better behaviors than Chris Medlock, Sally Kern or Anna Falling. I’m groomed more often than Tom Colburn, combed better than Newt Gingrich and shampooed more often than Jim Inhofe. God knows I smell better than Sean Hannity and unlike Rush Limbaugh, have never been a drug addict.
*
And this is a dog’s life? I want to hike my leg on the FOX News van, howl at James Dobson and everyone knows Sarah Palin still needs a good bite in the ass (but I know she’d bite me back.) But no, they chain me to the Secret Service agent, I wag my tail and run in a prescribed path. I have to pose for the cameras, posture for the media and God help me if I just once broke away and buried a bone in the White House Rose Garden. I’d probably find one of Dubya’s Weapons of Mass Destruction.
*
Neutered at six months and house broken. It’s not like I shot my best friend on a hunting trip or tried to sell a Senatorial seat. Why weren’t THEY neutered?!?! And as for house broken, I hear Representative Sullivan from Oklahoma isn’t doing so good in that category? I’m sorry but this “dog’s life” thing is lost on me. Let me dig for a while a find the liberties buried by Dubya or the integrity buried by Mark Sanford. (Now there’s one to neuter!) I want to run on the Mall with Republican dogs, Democrat dogs and Ralph Nader. I want to eat an Easter egg, dig up tomatoes in the Presidential garden and go to Oklahoma to bite Randy Brogdon.
*
But I aim to get them back. You think it raised some eyebrows when Michelle patted the Queen on her back. Just wait til the old lady visits the White House. I’ll be the only one on this side of “The Big Pond” who has ever looked up the Queen Mother’s skirt. And I won’t tell any of you if she’s really the queen or a king in drag.

Look Who's Running

for

State Supt. of Education

*

The rumor mills are cranking out possible GOP candidates for State Supt. of Education as the righteous party of discarded ideas seeks to reclaim Oklahoma education from the liberal dark side of godless sinners, homosexuals and other American-hating Democrats.

1. Sally Kern, America's favorite pick to term limit out of the human race would naturally have every student supplied with a handgun, require every student to take a class on how to identify homosexuals and grant a graduation diploma in exchange for their signature on her God Bless Evangelical Christian Fundamentalist Pledge. No need for any text books other than the King James Version of the Bible (with the dirty parts in Esther, Genesis, and Song of Solomon removed.)
2. Jim Inhofe, leading proponent of the deportation of all scientists, has a plan to reduce education expenditures by millions through the elimination of science from all school curriculum. Reading texts will be supplied by the John Birch Society and history curriculum by the National Rifle Association. High school seniors who score well on final exams will be taken on fun-in-the-sun swimming outings on the growing hot springs at what used to be the Polar Ice Cap.
3. Sarah Palin, another GOP money-saver could return big bucks to the State's coffers by resigning half-way into her term citing the reason that she did not want to be a lame-brain, er... duck, er duck-brain, oh, quack. Yes, quack and that brings us right back to Sarah Six-Pack. Her sex education program could consist of a 17 second commercial at the end of the morning prayer over the school intercom. "Amen. Just say, No. And only sleep with your partner in your mother's house where you won't have sex, but if you get pregnant, we'll call it an Immaculate Deception and tell everyone how much in love you are and are going to get married until AFTER the election." Students would be home schooled and when asked questions on a state examinations, taught to avoid answering them and just saying the questions were just proof that the tests were given to humiliate them in front of the liberal media.
4. Ginger Tenney, biggest savings ever to the state. Rewrite the state constitution to allow every district superintendent to own teachers as chattel property, eliminate all healthcare and benefits, force teachers to live in school buildings, bunk in locker rooms and be given food stamps and WalMart coupons instead of salaries. She will stand staunchly for teacher rights (the right to serve without pay, the right to return to the 80 hour work week, the right to relinquish all responsibility for or time spent with their families.) Having written the book on speaking out of both sides of your mouth, she will save additional state dollars by being able to speak to several groups at one time.

Democrats could not be contacted for comment as they were too busy trying to figure out how, with such a field of opponents, to let this golden opportunity slip through their fingers.

Cheerleading...Yea, Right!

Cheer "Leading" ?

Back in the day when I dressed in my slacks and button-down shirt and attended the football game with Horace Mann and Red Grange, there were uniformed classmates who stood on the sidelines with megaphones to lead the fans in organized cheers. They pepped us up for the action on the field, they knew the score of the game, what cheer to call and it correlated with the progress of the contest.

*

Push 'em back, Push 'em back. Waaaaaaaaaaaay back. (We were on defense.)

*

Through that line. Through that line. (We were on offense.)

*

Hi-dee, hi-dee, hi-dee hi. Ho-dee, ho-dee, ho-dee ho. We're the gang from Wheaton. And we're ready to go. Now Glenbard is rough and Glenbard is tough. They can beat anybody, but they can't beat us. (Before the game has started.)

*

Lean to the left. (And we would)

*

Now cheerleading has as much to do with leading cheers as an "Escourt Service" does with escourting. Cheerleading in a multi-gabillion dollar industry aimed at who can perform the wildest gymnastics possible while showing as much of little girl's breasts and crotch as possible. Cheerleaders have no idea what the score (of the game) is, they throw pom-poms around like the Paris Follies Bergere and put on a perfomance to music that has no more to do with the athletic contest than virgin has to do with Virgin Islands. High school cheerleaders are racking up injuries equal to the football players and their folks are spending enough money to pull third world countries out of our current recession. It's not their fault, it's what the market wants.

*

I'm not advocating that we change what the current cheerleaders do. Ain't no one this side of the Pearly Gates gonna do that. I'm not sure anyone the OTHER side of the Pearly Gates can do that. But I do suggest we change the lable to more aptly fit the activity. Let's just call them the rich-assed little titty-boom gymnastic exhibitionists and then start a new thing where uniformed and covered students lead the spectators in cheers to pep up the fans in the stands and the team on the field.

MEMO

To: President Obama

From: Dr. Death

Subject: Job Application

Dear Mr. President,

After listening to the crystal clear logic of that intellectual bar-setter, The Wasilla Wackjob, I have come to realize that you want to kill old people with your government healthcare. While you may not be as efficient as Dubya when he killed truckloads of people in Iraq with his government army, I think you can do one helluva job if you hire people with my experience.

See, I was instrumental in murdering both of my parents and my grandmother! I talked with each of them by the hour as they expressed their adamant conviction that no one was to take any life lengthening measures as they entered their final, terminal battles with cancer. I helped secure the necessary documents, gave orders to the doctors and made sure their wishes were carried out.

If I hadn't been there, and they had been without families, like people who may be on your government healthcare, the doctors could have lengthened their pain, agony and suffering many, many months. They could have had scores of medical procedures and surgeries that could have forced them to suffer untold hours of horrible pain and what is better, would have stripped from them every last vestige of human dignity.

Because of my cold-blooded, murdering, evil spirit, I allowed them their life-long wishes to face death on their own terms.

You need people like me on your death squads to assist those suffering from terminal illnesses, without the aid of friend or family to discern their desires and protect their last wishes, as they face death. I can help murder, murder, murder - just like I did to the people whom I loved more deeply than loved myself.

You da murderin-man!!!!

Dr. Ballard

.

Right Words

.

Right Track Record

.

Right Direction

.

But Will He Survive The TPS Meat Grinder?

.

Dr. Ballard:

• Says teachers are the key to successful student academic progress -We've heard that before.
• Says principals are the key to a successful building - We've heard that before.
• Says TCTA has been a source of reliable information - Haven't heard that before.
• Meets regularly with TCTA/OEA Reps - Only Dr. Sawyer tried that.
• Publicly compliments TCTA for their assistance to the District - That's a first.
• Knows TCTA and OEA Reps personally - That's a first.
• Does not hate teachers' unions - That's a first.
• Was once an OEA organizer - That's a first.
• Says under-performing principals will be removed - We've heard that before.
• Has a proven track record of cooperation with teachers' unions - That's a first.
• Has reorganized the ESC - That happens every year in TPS.
• Says he wants a new, fairer way of evaluating teachers - If only!!!!!
• Says TPS isn't going to continue to shove every program d' jour down our throats and up our butts - This will be a first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Call me Charlie Brown. Call me gullible for thinking that THIS time Lucy won't yank away the football at the last minute. Call me late to lunch. But I'm willing to give Dr. Ballard a shot at the infamous ESC/School Board meat grinder. A mega-million dollar meat grinder that underpays teachers, overpays all those mystery people in hidden cubicles, buys and trains personnel for programs that it knows won't work, stabs employees in the back and then wrings its hands wondering why we don't trust them.

We can hope against hope that Dr. Ballard will succeed as he has in the past. If he doesn't God help us - every one!

THE TIMES, THEY ARE A CHANGIN'!!

+

Code of Student Conduct Replaced

by

More Student Friendly, Non-Punitive

"BEHAVIOR RESPONSE PLAN"

.

I'm a dean. I'm from the Old School. In fact my school is so old that I used to believe that when Johnny or Suzie stood up and said to the teacher, "F_ _ _ You! I don't have to put up with none a your s_ _ _!" they should be sent home. It might not change their attitude or the fact that they heard the same vulgarities from their parents' lips. It did say, "School is a place where you treat the staff with respect, or you don't stay in school." I am fortunate enough to work in a school where the principal agrees that students who cursed teachers were sent home. The Code of Student Conduct said that if you cursed the teacher, the act was grounds for suspension. It is not a perfect school. But it is, or I should say WAS a respectful school. You cursed the teacher, you went home.

. . .

Ah, me. But that was so old school. So punitive. So disrespectful of Johnny's right to express his feelings. We certainly don't want to disrespect Johnny's feelings, so we introduce (with soft music in the background) "The Behavior Response Plan" with four Tiers of Responses to Johnny's cursing, disrespect, disorderly conduct or assault. And now, ladies and gentlemen:

"Behaving in a rude, profane or vulgar, and/or impertinent manner toward school personnel" [Violation #108] is a Tier # One Behavior.

According to the new Behavior Response Plan, Johnny may receive:

• A Warning,
• A review of Community living skills,
• A conference,
• Modifications in his contract,
• Counseling,
• A Behavior-Support/Modification Plan - with consequences.

Johnny is NOT to be suspended. And what, pray tell, are the "consequences"? Lunch detention? Counseling? A conference? Or, maybe a. . . a. . .Oh, no. . .Don't say it. . .A warning!!!!!!!!

You want to give a 5 year old a warning? Go ahead. But when 16 year old Johnny tells Ms. Third Block Teacher, "F_ _ _ _ You! I don't have to put up with none a your S_ _ _!!" just what kinda warning ya think is going to change that behavior? Perhaps the old school warning, "If it happens again, you'll be suspended for 10 days instead of 5 days." It is amazing the impact that had on most offenders. I could count on one hand the ones who came back for 10 days.

It was strong statement to the other students. It did impact the classroom climate. But it's out with the Code, in with the Behavior Response Plan. Out with suspension and in with the conference, warning and review of the Life Skills. Somehow I'm not feeling real optimistic.

But I'm from the old school.

And the times they are a changin'!

(Guess I better go change my drawers.)

Newest Rumor From TPS!!!!!!!

The Voice from Left Field has heard the same rumor for three weeks:

THE NEW POWERSCHOOL "MAINFRAME PROGRAM" IS NOT

I REPEAT

NOT

DESIGNED FOR A SCHOOL SYSTEM

AS LARGE AS TPS!!!

Now I would ordinarily ignore this and not pass it along, but come on folks, this IS Tulsa Public. And when was the last time we undertook a new program that wasn't flawed from before the start? Gradespeed, STARS, Gradebook, TAC/Boot Camp, need we go on? In my first training class I asked if this thing would really work or if it was another "Titanic" (much ballyhooed and doomed to failure). The evasive answer I received was my first red flag.

Next red flag came when I went to three additional training sessions and the system would still not let us schedule students.

Next red flag: Teachers are asked to log in early because they don't want to "overload the system' on the first day. Excuse me, what happens when we go to school the second day?.

Next red flag: I have received almost a dozen emails from ISS saying Powerschool isn't working/Powerschool is working again/Powerschool isn't working/Powerschool is working again/Powerschool isn't working/ Powerschool is working again.........

Goodness knows we hope this rumor is false and The Voice from Left Field is 100% wrong, but it wouldn't be the first time.

Also, hope everyone is getting ready to brown-nose, kiss-keester and suck-up to their principals with the new Gates merit-pay plan. When was the last time an incompetent principal was required to change a completely bogus evaluation for you or a co-teacher? Ever get an evaluation dated on a day when the principal wasn't even in the building or school was not insession? Ever have a principal who manufactured a low evaluation out of thin air? And these are the ones who will be evaluating us for our merit raises!!!!!! For myself, I have an incredible principal who evaluates honestly and fairly - unfortunatly we all know principals who are not so professional, the kind who give you commendables when they like you, but when they don't............

But, what the Hell do I know? I'm just the voice from Left Field.

Clinton Chases Women Around the Globe

Unashamed of past dalliances with attractive young members of the opposite sex, former President Bill Clinton arranged a secret Korean rendezvous with Laura Ling and Euna Lee. With brazen assistance from Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, he callously ignored the glaring conflict of interest by utilizing nepotistic ties with his wife. Furthermore, in abandoning the patriotic hardline of "The Dubya" which had successfully destroyed talks of normalization between Korea and the United States, Clinton's philandering threatens to reopen talks between the two countries. After eight years of trademark Bush foreigh policy that had brought Korean relations to threats of war and the launching of potential nukie-bearing missles, Clinton's characteristic womanizing has brought the two sides back to the dangerous point of talking through their differences.

Where are the war mongering hawks when we need them? How long will we stand for the moral disintegraton of this country? Will Mr. Clinton, Mr. Gore and President Obama be brought to task for arranging this release of two evil agents charged by the Koreans for the "commission of unspecified criminal acts." Will Bill Clinton ever admit the same of his woman-chasing behavior?

ALert! Alert! Alert!

To any and all of the Tulsa Public School, Deans, Counselors, Librarian, Nurses, Special Ed Teachers, or teachers teaching any of hundreds of courses not evaluated by state tests, The Voice From Left Field recommends that you request/attend staff development in Brown Nosing 1013 or Advanced Principal Keester-Kissing so that you can get in on those much balley-hooed bonuses offered by the Gates mega-millions.

Since merit pay is the new benchmark in TPS, and you don't qualify for bonuses unless you get GREAT evaluations, you better learn to play the new game by the new rules. Kiss Up, Kiss Keester and get in line for the small percentage of those who will get it. Like Cash-For-Clunkers, the bucks at VERY BEST, are limited. Get on board, get on your knees and get kissing!!!!!!

Remember you heard it first from Left Field.

"Are we blogging yet?" Jewel, Jewel of the Nile

This is a test. For the next thirty-seven words, this blog will be conducting a test. If it had been a real blog, it would have given you your opinion on something. This is only a test. You may now go to sleep. I am.